a timeline

1973: I’m born. From what I’ve read in my very, very brief baby book entries, I was a funny baby. I liked laughing. I liked grabbing. I liked eating.

2023: I turned 50. From what I’ve read in my extensive collection of diary entries, not much has changed.

I’m on a path to keep those things I like – laughing, grabbing, eating AND I’m on a path to trying to learn about how to enjoy those things in moderation – especially the grabbing and eating.

From 1973 until 1994 I was of average weight for my age, height, build.

From 1994 until 2014 I was obese (BMI 30)

From 2014 until 2018 I was overweight and scared shitless (BMI 28)

From 2019 until 2021 I was morbidly obese (BMI 33)

From 2021 until 2022 I was healthy BMI  (BMI 22)

From 2022 until 2023 I am putting weight on again and currently my BMI is at 25 – right at the pre-obesity marker, definitely overweight.

What’s more, I’ve quit my job, turned 50, and my body is a bit of a mess.

I am interested in changing my body as well as my relationship with my body and body image. I’m interested in changing and I am interested in learning about my body and how to care for, appreciate, and celebrate it. I’m excited and nervous. If I’m honest, I’m predicting I’ll fail. But the good thing about me is I am great at lying to myself, so let’s shelve the honesty for now.

I’m starting a blog, a podcast, and doing this with a partner in a (relatively) similar boat as an attempt to document my learning. I want to learn how to be healthy. I want to learn how to feel good about and in my body. I want to learn how to say I like my… fill in the blank with even one part of my body with honestly. It’s a tall order.

Moving on from wants, there is something I need. And that is to be transparent in my learning and changing. These next eight weeks are the first of 52 I’ve set aside to study myself and my journey, and to share my journey on paper for others to read, relate, refute, roll their eyes at my findings, my successes and my failures. All of it.